EMAIL DETAILS

what do you think about this? so upsetting.

Sent from my iPhone
Lizsecundy@aol.com
302-530-0600

Begin forwarded message:

> From: Dylan Miller <dylanmiller30@gmail.com>
> Date: July 7, 2016 at 7:41:42 PM EDT
> To: Liz Secundy <lizsecundy@aol.com>, Father Secundy <jsecundy@me.com>
> Subject: Robbie
>
> Mr. and Mrs. Secundy,
>
> Before I begin, I would like to thank you both for giving me the opportunity to coach Robbie. It has been a pleasure to witness the progress that he has made due to his strong work ethic and unquestionable passion for the game.
>
> To start, I hope that I am not overstepping any boundaries. After being around Robbie for the past several months, I made some observations in regards to his maturity and development. I find it necessary to share these thoughts with you both. Please understand that everything I write is a good faith effort to see Robbie maximize upon his potential.
>
> Throughout my time with Robbie, I have recognized that despite his external appearance, he significantly lacks confidence in himself and has low self-esteem. He often makes comments about how he is better than other players. To an ignorant bystander, these remarks communicate excessive cockiness. However, after having a better understanding of Robbie, it is apparent that these comments do not suggest a conceited attitude, but rather, underscore Robbie's low self-esteem in himself. I believe that he talks in such a manner as a defense mechanism to hide his self-doubt. This lack of confidence may also be one reason for his struggles in school. After repeatedly performing poorly in the classroom, Robbie may question his own intelligence and believe that he is unable to do better.
>
> As a result of his low confidence, Robbie needs to be liked by everyone. This causes him to do things to become the center of attention. Although being the center of attention is desirable to many people, Robbie can get himself into trouble by doing silly things which give him the attention for the wrong reasons.
>
> I find Robbie to be a sensitive person, which is a very positive quality to possess. Without question, Robbie loves his family and friends. For example, when he has discussed his younger brother, I can feel the affection that he has for him. Robbie is the kind of person that wants everyone around him to be happy and cheerful. He gets very uncomfortable in environments where there is fighting and arguing. It makes him very unfocomfable and upset.
>
> I understand that Robbie is dealing with a lot in his life amongst typical teenage stressors, his younger brother, moving to a new place, attending a new school and the divorce. Despite all of these trials, the both of you should be very proud of the way Robbie has responded as I am sure you are. As a fourteen year old, he has faced a lot but continues to keep a big smile on his face.
>
> With that being said, I think that too many things have happened too fast in his life. When he enters high school in the fall, Robbie is going to face more obstacles. These obstacles will likely compound the ones that he is facing presently.
>
> Therefore, I think both of you should consider having Robbie repeat the eighth grade. I do not believe that Robbie is ready for high school mentally and emotionally. Entering high school with such a lack of confidence and low self-esteem is concerning to me for a couple reasons.
>
> My first concern is that he will fall victim to peer pressure often in order to gain a sense of comfort around a new group of people. I do not believe that Robbie currently has the confidence in himself to ignore the temptations from others.
>
> In addition to the threat of peer pressure, I am concerned that Robbie will experience even lower self-esteem as he is now the youngest in the school and surrounded by individuals that are bigger, smarter and stronger. My fear is that Robbie will get discouraged causing him to lose more confidence in himself.
>
> I believe that an extra year in eighth grade would be very beneficial to Robbie for several reasons. Most importantly, it would give him a year to gain confidence in himself. Right now and especially as he enters high school, Robbie is a follower of others. However, if Robbie were to repeat eighth grade, everyone in his class would be looking up to him giving Robbie an opportunity to be the leader. There is no limit to what such an experience could do for a kid. For the first time, Robbie would not have to attempt to impress others or act out to become the center of attention. At times, I noticed that Robbie possesses leadership qualities. By repeating eighth grade, Robbie would be surrounded by classmates who would look up to him and be willing to follow his lead allowing Robbie to transform into a stable leader.
>
> Moreover, repeating eighth grade would allow Robbie to build a strong foundation in the classroom before moving onto high school. A student struggling in middle school only indicates that the student will struggle to a greater magnitude in high school. I understand that Robbie missed many days of school this past year. This created a snowball effect as Robbie became more behind each day he was absent. With missing so much school, it is difficult for a student to establish the proper groundwork in reading, writing and math skills. Repeating eighth grade would ensure that Robbie possesses these skills allowing for great success in high school.
>
> Not only would Robbie acquire necessary skills to become a successful student, but also, he would gain basic skills that are vital to his development as a young man. Robbie needs to be more responsible and have better time management. This is displayed through little actions such as not turning in homework on time. I understand that Robbie has learning disabilities, but if uncorrected, these issues will spiral out of control as time passes.
>
> Typically, I am reluctant to share my personal story in order to keep the focus on the player. Yet, in this situation, I believe my story offers the proper context in explaining my passion behind why I believe Robbie should repeat the eighth grade. I was unable to talk until I was six years old and could not speak in complete sentences until I was eight. As a young child, I spent much time with a speech pathologist. Many people told my parents and me that I was stupid and dumb. My parents decided to hold me back a grade. Thereafter, from the boy who could not speak, I graduated third in my class from Salesianum and delivered the commencement address at graduation. Then, I was recognized at University of Delaware's commencement for graduating with the highest grade point average across the entire university and am now attending the University of Pennsylvania Law School. I share this story because as I reflect on my childhood, I credit all of those successes to getting held back. It gave me a sense of confidence in myself that I never possessed before allowing me to do better than I otherwise would have. I believe that a similar experience is possible for Robbie in that he will gain much confidence in himself.
>
> I understand that it is the beginning of July, but please do not let that be the factor that discourages you from considering this suggestion. There are schools that would be accommodating to your situation. Tatnall may be an option due to your connection within the school. Another school to consider is Saint Edmond's Academy. I attended SEA for seventh and eighth grade and continue to say it was the greatest experience of my life. One thing that I appreciate about SEA is the all boys environment. I believe that Robbie could benefit greatly from such an atmosphere because it leads to less distractions in the classroom, less drama amongst the students and improves a boy's self-esteem as he does not have to worry about what the girl next to him is thinking. The structure and discipline of a school such as SEA would serve Robbie well.
>
> I greatly appreciate your time to read my concerns. If either of you would like to discuss this matter at greater length, I would be more than happy to meet with you.
>
> Ultimately, I just want to see Robbie live up to his potential as a person, and no matter what decision the two of you make, I will continue to do whatever I can to help him. Again, thank you for entrusting Robbie with me over this past spring and summer. I have enjoyed my time with him.
>
> Best Regards,
>
> Dyla