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A Thanksgiving Practice
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Dear Friends,
Gratitude is enriching, enlivening, nourishing, and uplifting...and good for health,
relationships, and working and creating together.
On Thanksgiving we are reminded of this powerful quality.
How can we deepen our capacity for gratitude, and its beneficial impacts on people
we spend time with today?
And what if the people we are with have very different views about religion, sexuality,
nutrition, or issues of governance. How do we feel and express gratitude, and create
a culture of caring?
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"Tell me what you care about"
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We know we can express gratitude by telling someone how much we appreciate them
though words, gifts, art, or acts of kindness and support. People want to feel
safe and loved, and they will usually appreciate these things - even if they don't
seem to.
People also want to feel valued, that their life matters.
It is powerful invitation to be asked to contribute your thoughts, your feelings
and your views. Take a deep breath and imagine another person asking you "tell
me what you care about." It is an invitation to open, to relax a little more about
being who we are, to have a sense that what we think and feel matters.
What would happen if we asked everyone today that question and if they gave us answers
that we did not like or did not agree with we said with curiosity "why?" What if
we sought to understand, rather than to be understood. What if we created a culture
of caring by demonstrating that we care about what another feels and thinks.
Every year there are a significant number of people who tell me they are concerned
about holiday events because they will be with people who don't agree with them,
or don't approve of something they are doing. This year friends, families, and
strangers are finding themselves together, knowing that they have very different
views politically. Many people are fired up, or agitated, or defensive, or withdrawn,
or depressed, or attacking. And the good news is that it is because everyone cares,
everyone is impacted.
Let's create a culture of caring, and learn why the other feels as they do. Let's
value the intelligence, the sensibilities, the needs, fears and hopes of one another.
I find that when I ask someone what they care about, and why, and keep asking questions,
they relax in my presence, and there is a better chance they will become more interested
in what I care about.
An atmosphere of caring creates the possibility for understanding, learning, mutuality,
and creativity.
We can take a lot of deep breaths today and everyday, give and receive, pitch in,
and not wait to tell someone that we appreciate them or something they did.
And we can practice cultivating a sharing and caring place by saying to each person
"Tell me what you care about." "Why?" Especially let's do this when we feel frustrated,
angry, hurt or bewildered. Change the process to value, kindness and caring. Let's
go first.
Thinking of each of you today with much gratitude for all the ways you bring love,
kindness, wisdom and peace to our world.
Love always,
Jessica
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